How to Make Someone Love You — Single Most Important Piece of Advice

For those of you who’ve visited my website,  have heard me lecture, and/or who have read my book, (Lucky in Love ),  you know that I have a rather extensive philosophy about what makes people irresistible in love.   The essence of it, however, goes hand in hand with my previous post:   Make people feel good about themselves.

This does not mean drowning people in false (or even real) flattery.  While this might get you dates,  it’s not the basis for a deep and meaningful relationship which will transform your (and their) life.

I am a huge believer in the transformative power of true love, and have dedicated my life to helping people understand what love really is,  and how to invite more of it into your life.  To  achieve this does take some work  — on ourselves above all, because in understanding ourselves at the deepest possible level,  we learn to understand others. And understanding others is the essence of love.

So, what is the single best  thing you can do to get people to absolutely adore you?

See them as they really are; see them they see themselves and see them as  they wish to be –  and help them reconcile all three.

When you can help another person see the potential for greatness in him or herself,  and if you help them navigate that path,  your value to them increases a hundred fold.

Advertisements

Single Most Important Piece of Advice when Looking for Love

Somebody recently asked me what the single most important piece of advice I could give to those looking for love.   I said, “Judge people purely on how they make you feel.”

Stop evaluating potential dates based on superficial things such as status,  income, appearance.  Consider only if you like the way you feel about yourself, deep inside, when you’re around them.   Do they inspire you to greatness or make you feel petty?  Do they encourage you be the best you can be or are they threatened by any success and independence you might achieve?

A “great catch” might make you feel temporarily proud that you are worth of such a prize,  but think about how this relationship is going to play out in the long run.  Does this person make you feel secure and loved?   Do you feel safe,  listened to,  understood? Can you be your natural self and always feel accepted? Are your feelings and needs respected?  Do you feel as if you’re a team of equals,  each watching out for the other’s best interest?

This does require a bit of extrapolation because, to a degree,  you have to be able to visualize and predict how you will feel in the future.

For example,  women LOVE to nurture and be needed.  It might be nice, initially, to be with a man who really needs and depends on her,  but how is it going to ten years from now, when she’s still playing the role of his mother?

Beauty,  money, fame, success may be initially seems like great “gets” in a partner, they will do nothing to guarantee your long term happiness (unless you are completely shallow and care ONLY about these things.)   For long term happiness, it’s more important to have a partner with compassion, understanding and respect.

And when you stop paying attention to the superficial qualities,  you start to look at people in different ways.  Someone you might have previously dismissed as “unsuitable” may suddenly shine in a new light.

Lucky in Love

Lucky in Love:
Secrets to Being Irresistible

Lucky in Love

Change your life! Order your copy now! Click here.

Wisdom distilled from many years of loving, dating, failing, picking myself up again, dusting myself off, and getting back into the fray. If you follow even 10% of the advice in this book, your love life will improve 1000%. I promise.

“I think Lucky in Love is one of the best books on the subject of love and relationships I’ve ever read. I run the matchmaking program at a large singles organization and immediately ordered copies for every member of my program.”

Lisa M, W. Orange, NJ

“Lucky in Love is insightful, funny and full of great advice. I’ve reread it dozens of times already, and every time I do, I understand Adrienne’s philosophy a little more. It’s especially helpful when I’m in the midst of relationship problems. This really helps me put things in perspective.”

–Diane G., Stamford, CT

“From the first page, Lucky in Love had my attention. It explores all those things you already know, intellectually, about love and explains them in a way your emotions can understand.”

–Brian B., New York, NY

“I’ve been carrying around Lucky in Love in my handbag since I got it three weeks ago. I reread it every day, and every time I do, I absorb a little more of Adrienne’s very wise philosophy.”

Sandra L, Brooklyn, NY

“This book makes so much sense. It should be required reading! ”

Kelly J, Astoria, NY

“Adrienne’s lectures are so inspiring, and this book is a continuation of her positive and amazingly useful philosophy. Often her suggestions require a serious change of attitude on my part, but every time I follow her advice and make that effort, I see the benefit in all my relationships.”

Rachel S, Great Neck, NY